I’m not sure if it’s travelling the ley line or the busy journey but my adrenaline is on overload rather than peaceful. Even though we speak the same language our cultural differences are not necessarily the same language. No PowerPoints in the bathrooms, washers in the kitchen and switches that belong to electrical equipment without labels (hence mistakes in me turning them off eek). Shower taps that scare me. Road rules I don’t understand, parking in the middle of the road so everyone has to take turns and being allowed to park facing the wrong way. It’s not wrong just a learning curve. On the Tor my heart was racing so fast I wondered how strong my heart was, as strong as a lion?, strong enough to withstand the pressure I’d put it under?
Being brave is not an active thought in my head - I’m going to be brave today. I just get up and do it. Years ago after my first marriage failed I was under immense pressure and pain. My mum said to me that the thing she’d always admired about me was that even though I was fearful I still got up and kept going. She had to her whole life. She lost her girlie impishness and worked hard, she said that’s life! I have always felt things very deeply which is difficult when facing life. I learnt to be strong but it sometimes means I push people away. I need to take a breath, come back to the essence of me. Life is not a battle, it doesn’t require armour. Yes it ebbs and flows but coming from a place of love helps in building strength.
